"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

Friday, 9 July 2010

This Week...

...I have mostly been eating tofu and thinking.  I thought about painting the living room: then I thought about the roller, the brush, the extension pole and the paint.

Next, I thought about properly dividing winter and summer clothes:  then I thought that it's only four months until November.   After that I made a cup of tea.

In between all the exertion of painting my toenails and topping up my wrinkles I've also thought about Alan Bennett, why there are no good films on the tv lately and the sort of people who have the top jobs at global institutions.  So, as you can see, I've been kept pretty busy.

It wasn't until this morning that I felt the urge to catch-up with the news and, guess what?  The world still turns, it hasn't changed; it's like I've never been away.  The same sh!ts are running it, causing all the same old problems and telling the same old lies.

I was going to do an ABC of things that caught my eye but it's much easier to just file everything under B for B@ast@rds, so, for better or worse, here we go:

'Sigard': monitoring a conversation near you
The WWI headline - except it's not
 My Kinda Guy
'ear, 'ear
Dum-di-dum-dum-duuurgh
We're answerable to so many bloody Courts
Lord Foster still a Lord
British Ambassador to Lebanon re-writes history
Because the UK's worth it
If you wonder why your pension's gone down the Swannee - wonder no more
Fly the flag and show your appreciation
Once upon a time there was a Bottomless Well of the Taxpayer
Dr Jerome Ikwuekwe "could" be struck off
One small step for  man and two back for ACPO
And then there's this headline The answer is, "No, they didn't - they're just following another EU directive". Lobbyists from the food industry persuaded MEPs to vote in their favour a while back. MEPs - doncha just luv 'em? They give an entirely new dimension to a certain well-known phrase.

The 'Am I Bovvered' section:
Lady Gaga has cellulite ad infinitum
USA-v-Russia is a done deal and a non-story

The 'Meanwhile, Don't Forget to be Very Afraid' section:
Red Alert
*  Surveillance technology only used for motorists and litterers
Houses can give you cancer

The 'Wake Me, Shake Me, When It's Over' section:
LibDems formulating military strategy

I've missed out quite a bit, not least that flatulent sack of ruminant remainders, John Prescott, being elevated to the *cough* House of Lords. We've seen Michael Martin elevated despite presiding over the taking-the-p!ss-out-of-the-taxpayer-expenses-debacle - yet Cameron still prefers the Upper House to be part elected and part nominated and expects us to trust him. A game of soldiers springs to mind.

PS How many topics were removed from Google at the request of the UK govt between July & December, 2009?
Answer: 59

* acting Chief Constable Sue Sim, c/o
Grumpy Old Twat

3 comments:

  1. My kindred soul. Mrs OR and me just got in from sitting on a bench with a glass of wine, viewing the most wonderful hills and trees and life. There really is always something better than the shits. It's in our own heads and no one can take it!

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  2. Does eating tofu assist in the reflection process, GV?

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  3. Exactly, OR. You're also very fortunate in that you don't physically have to go far to see beauty - just step into your garden or look out of your window.

    Hmmm, James - that's a tough one. I'm not sure it's for me to judge whether tofu is beneficial on my reflections or not but, if I was pushed, I'd say 'probably not' :-)

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