"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

A Little Light Relief #1

Dear Glenda

I am a crack dealer in Islington who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Haringey and one of my sisters, who lives in Barnet, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Camden.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a life sentence for murder of a teenage boy in 2004. The other brother is currently being held on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Brent and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel.

My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my uncle who voted for Nick Clegg?

Signed

Worried About My Reputation

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