"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

A Little Light Relief

A little light relief- otherwise known as an outlet for 'Grrrrrwoooaaaaaarr'.

Apparently, it's National Fish & Chip Week so, in honour of our Great British dish (I've already got my coat):

What do you call a fish with no eyes?…Fsh
How do fish go into business?…They start on a small scale
A fish swam into a wall and said, “Dam!”
What bit of fish doesn’t make sense?..The piece of cod that passeth all understanding
Two parrots sitting on a perch.  The first one says to the other, “Can you smell fish?”
Where do fish wash?…In a river basin
What day of the week do fish hate?…Frydays
Why are gold fish orange?…The water makes them rusty
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?…You can’t tuna fish
What do romantic fish sing to each other?…Salmon-chanted evening
Why are fish so gullible?…They fall for things hook, line and sinker
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?…A motor pike
1st kipper: ‘Smoking’s bad for you’…2nd kipper: ‘It’s OK, I’ve been cured’
There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant...four fish got battered
What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head?...Ray

And, finally, how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?...Fish.

Below, the best fish and chip shop in the world:

2 comments:

  1. You should not knock fish & chip shops, they are generally very profitable busineses, banks love them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Who's knocking them? They're celebratory jokes :-)

    ReplyDelete

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