"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

Friday, 1 April 2011

April Fools!

It's the one day of the year when our newspapers are dotted with nonsense stories and I've had a fun time trying to spot the odd ones out this morning.

In the Telegraph: Celebrate Ed's wedding with bunting 
The Independent: Portugal sells 'patriotic' Ronaldo to Spain
The Express: Space flights from Scotland to boost tourism
The Sun: Assault by marshmallow

The DM had me flummoxed - as usual it could be almost anything on their front page. Possibly this: Marauding chickens or this: Another 12 Libyans join the queue to join 383 war criminals already given sanctuary here or even this: NHS foreign doctor didn't know what CPR was.

I couldn't find anything remotely humorous in the FT or the Guardian - party poopers!

Something to dip into: Top 100 April Fool jokes from the Museum of Hoaxes  - no prizes for guessing which joke takes the No.1 spot.

UPDATE:  I've just heard on the radio that the presenter phoned the Sun to check the marshmallow story and, guess what?  Sadly, it isn't a spoof... unless, of course, it's a double-spoof from the presenter!


  1. It's such a shame the Guardian hasn't done anything to mark the day, particularly as, in the past, they have brought us such wonderful spoofs as the whole 'San Serif' pull-out and a devilish crossword by Araucaria - who else? - which had the rubric: All the answers have in common is the first of April, giving lights such as BANANASALAD, PANAMACANAL and CARAVAN; such fun, even if the paper's politics was very soft and lefty.

    Another sign of the dumbed-down times we live in, I suppose.

    Have a nice day, and don't let them pin fish on you!

  2. I certainly didn't spot any spoof at the Guardian, Opsimath, but that doesn't mean they didn't do one - perhaps I just looked in the wrong sections.

    Society seems to be veering off into neo-puritanism and the news is oh-so-very serious - it's a shame there aren't more jokey news items.

  3. Personally, I find it difficult nowadays to find ANY item of news, that couldn't be a potential spoof.

    The one I fell hook line and sinker for, a while back, was redesignating Warwickshire - "Warwickshire - The Teletubbies County" instead of the usual Shakespeare... link (Ragdoll Ltd, Stratford-upon-Avon).

    It was at the height of their popularity and just the kind of stupid thing local authorities would do... that's my defence.

  4. "I couldn't find anything remotely humorous in the FT or the Guardian"

    Lefties don't really do jokes, GV, at least not the sort of "jokes" you can actually laugh at!

  5. You're right Hookie. Take that one about assault with a marshmallow - it was real, yet I missed one about Cameron making Huhne co-Party Chairman with Warsi because it was so believable! It's hard to know what's what these days.

    Hi Spidie - I missed the Grauniad's spoof - something to do with the Royal wedding. As for the DM - it turned out that their spoof wasn't the chickens at all - again it was something to do with Kate Middleton. No wonder I missed them both!

  6. Sun says today that the marshmallow story is true:



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